I used to hear people ask pregnant women how they were feeling and sort of chuckle at the response that they were feeling,"pregnant." However, now I get it. In fact, that has been my reply to the last dozen or so people who have inquired into my well-being. I'm not sick. I'm not tired. I'm not good. I'm not bad. I'm pregnant.
The physical and emotional roller coaster of pregnancy has been relatively new for me. Granted I've had six months to get used to it, it really did start out as a slow, steady kiddie ride. Sure I was nauseous for the first 14 weeks, and my ever-expanding waistline has been a bit much to handle, but if I am going to be honest with myself, I have not experienced the twisty-twirly, upside down, loopty-loop of a coaster that some unfortunately have to go through before the free-fall of giving birth. It's been kind of nice.
Lately however, there is a feeling about me that I cannot shake. I'm not in pain and I don't have irrational thoughts about the baby not having limbs (who thinks like that? :) ) I just feel funny. And the only way to describe it is pregnant.
This feeling is starting to take it's toll, though. Yesterday, I came home, cleaned up the kitchen, and started to make dinner. Just after I began the preparations, I realized I needed milk. My husband was going to be leaving work soon, so I called to see if he could pick some up on his way. At some point during the conversation, I decided that his going to the store would delay his arrival home even more and based on the way I felt, I just couldn't handle that. So I announced that I would go to the store and instructed him to come right home. We hung up, I grabbed my keys, and went to the store.
As I walked out the door, I look down at my feet and realized I was wearing slippers. Not just any slippers - white, plush slip-ons that say "Just" on one foot and "Married" on the other. Classy! I was about 2 feet from my car, stopped, looked back at my house, thought about going back in to change shoes, and then just shrugged and proceeded to my car. (I should also add that I was wearing cut-off capri sweatpants and one of my husband's white Haynes t-shirts. The complete ensemble, wouldn't you say?) I looked completely and utterly disheveled, and let's face it, probably a bit crazy. And I didn't care - I felt pregnant.
I often read blogs about mothers who don't brush their teeth for days on end, or simply can't afford the time to shower before the kids go to bed at night. But I'm not a mom yet. I'm just pregnant! This can't be good.
Topkapi Palace
14 years ago
Hee. At least you realized about the slippers before you got to the store. So motherhood begins. And you know what? It's awesome, underneath the fuzzy slippers and unbrushed teeth.
ReplyDeleteOh Teresa - I only know you by proxy yet I am so comforted that there is someone I can go to when "mom-dom" feels overwhelming. Thank you!
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