Two steps forward, three years back.

So I've decided I can be a blogger. I used to have this image of what a blogger was - mostly formulated from one of the most annoying people I've ever met who I had the unfortunate experience of taking a two - count them: one, two - person class with. But recently, as I've become addicted to the blogs of some friends of mine, my viewpoint has changed. So here goes...

As I was driving home from work today, I began thinking about a person I know whose mother died recently from breast cancer. While this person is an acquaintance, at best, I was deeply affected by her recent tragedy due to the fact that my mother-in-law was diagnosed in December. Oddly enough, this is not a segue into the events and emotions of the past few months, instead a linear journey of my thought process as I drove home. I will eventually discuss my more personal thoughts regarding my mother-in-law's illness, but it's all very fresh, and frankly, too soon.

The thought about breast cancer made me think about death in general, which brought me back three years to when the proverbial $#!+ hit the fan. Actually, it brought me back to when I was 18 and lost my best friend in a car accident, but those thoughts are mostly fleeting now as my time without her has exceeded my time with her. Back to three years ago - On Christmas day, 2005, my husband's grandfather died from cancer. Very rarely do people die from cancer, but this was one of those cases. Not pneumonia, not the flu, cancer. It was devastating. In a very short time, the man had become my mentor and surrogate grandfather. I am very close with my husband's family, but I owe a lot of that to him. Very early on, he took me under his wing and welcomed me into the family when not everyone was willing to do so. I should probably mention at this time that my mother-in-law's diagnosis came a week before Christmas this year. Fortunately, thanks to the good doctors at Mayo Clinic, she was able to have surgery later that week. Unforunately, that brought us full-circle back to cancer on Christmas.

So as I sat in my car, I pondered the book-end events of Christmasses past and present. And then I remembered one thing. Life. There have been many more than two steps to the process that has led me to where I am today, and I'm sure there will be many more steps to come. However, even though I am saddened by the horrific illness that has reared it's ugly head on my family once again, I can honestly say I have hope for the future. Hope for remission, hope for happiness, and in many meanings, hope for healing.